Friday, November 19, 2010

Love/Hate

I swear, I blinked and Thanksgiving is almost here. Why is it that it feels like each year goes faster than the one before it?

I tend to have a love/hate relationship with Thanksgiving. The love side comes from seeing family (especially ones we don't see that often) and a big Thanksgiving meal x 3.


Each year we travel to and stuff our bellies at three different places. Each one has different family, different food, and different traditions. Thanksgiving wouldn't be the same without each one.

The hate side comes from the fact that Thanksgiving is always a big reminder that my dad isn't here. He died the day before Thanksgiving five years ago and I miss him more every single day. 

I miss his jokes and how he would tell them to you over and over. It didn't matter if you told him you had heard it because he was going to tell you again anyway. I miss seeing what goofy t-shirt he has on. I miss the laughter that filled the room because of some story was telling. I miss seeing the sparkle in his eyes when he would make people laugh. I miss hearing him say "battree" instead of battery. Even though we weren't big on showing affection, I miss hugging him and would give anything to be able to do it again. I just miss him.


This year, even though I'm feeling a little sad, I am thankful for the 25 years I had with my dad and the wonderful memories that filled them.

18 comments:

Lisa and Eddy said...

Hugssssss!!!!

Precious Memories Scrapbooking & More said...

{{{{{ hugs }}}}}} Sorry for your loss! I love the layout.
Staci

Luv2talk said...

Words never seem adequate when there is no changing anything.

Hang onto the memories and be glad there were so many good ones.

Diane Iversen said...

Speaking of funny stories, I think that our own mortality is part of the reason we scrapbook, and I'm sure it is with you, too - because it isn't just the fact that we are creative, it's that we are leaving a tangible version of our story behind when we are gone, for others to enjoy and remember us by. Here's to remembering.

AmyInKy said...

I really like your layout and especially that shot of Drew getting into the pie. :)
Sorry Thanksgiving can be a sad reminder for you. We lost my grandmother on 1/1/2000, so new year's doesn't seem like much to celebrate anymore.
Hope you have a nice Thanksgiving. :)

Michele Mc said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. The holidays, while a wonderful time, can be such a terrible reminder that there are some who can no longer be there with us. I lost my Mom over 6 years ago and Christmas time is when she really started to become ill so that time is always hard for me. I understand the love/hate thing all too well.

{{HUGS}} to you. I'm sure that you feel especially robbed of the presence that your dad would have been in your sons' lives. Just do your best to keep his memory alive for them.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.

kroller said...

Thank you for sharing this story, and the layout is great too! I pray each Thanksgiving comes easier..not that your dads memory fades in any way but remembering those moments and making new ones like them with your boys. This is the best reason for scrapbooking I can think of!
In my thoughts..

Amy

Anonymous said...

I can relate to the "battree" comment because that's how my Grandpa said it too. We always teased him but he was a good sport and often reminded us how important a good education was since he only went through the 5th grade. He had to go to work for his family. I wish we had more pictures from then but times were hard and we don't so I will have to put some of the stories he told on paper and in my scrapbook. Happy Thanksgiving to all your family.--Christine

Jennifer DeWolfe said...

Allison, this post just makes me sad. I am lucky enough to still have my Dad and couldn't even imagine what it would be like to loose him, as you have your Dad. I have been reading you blog for sometime and I have noticed the love you have for your Dad in several of your posts and layouts. Hang onto thoses memories as they are so sweet and they always make me smile! Although Thanksgiving is a sad reminder, may you still enjoy the time you have with the rest of your family.

Scrapthat said...

Big Hugs Ali!
I know how you feel...I wish my girl had gotten to meet her Grandmas and Grandpas.
I'm sorry there aren't enough words to ease your empty space in your heart...if there were I would gladly give them to you. So great big hugs...just remember those fond memories...he will always be in your heart.
Dolly

Scrapthat said...

I meant to say....GREAT LO!

Melissa Elsner said...

I love this layout. I really want to scrap more layouts like this. And while I can't completely relate to your sadness, I thank you for sharing what you are going through with us. I love that you have such happy memories to ponder during this time of year.

dawn said...

Sending you and your family big hugs this week. Thank you for sharing this with us, I can tell he is one great guy just from all the posts/layouts I've seen from you. He was one lucky guy to have all you ladies in his life. This is a sweet layout also.

Manhattan Mandie said...

((((hugs)))) I sort of know how you feel. My grandma who I was very close to died about a month before we had IVF so she never got to know that it worked. It's been 5 1/2 years but I still miss her so much. The holidays are always the hardest! I do say that she's the reason that the IVF worked! She put in a good word to God for us...

Christel said...

Sending (((big hugs))). You truly are very blessed to have not just one but three family get togethers to go to. When you come from and marry into a dysfunctional family you don't get so lucky. Big family holidays can be difficult for me too but for different reasons than yours.

On a happier note, I love your layout too, BTW! :)

Andrea Amu said...

Allison, I am so sorry you are missing your dad so much right about now... holidays are always especially rough when missing loved ones. I too am really missing my dad too, esp. since Christmas time was always his favorite time of the year. The void never seems to get any smaller... sad!

I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving and can feel your dad's presence... he'll be there!

MistyR said...

Alison, I am sorry for your loss and know exactly how you feel. I lost my dad in 2009 and he was only 61. His birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year so it's just as hard as last year's first Thanksgiving without him. It's the holiday I most associate with him and it's so hard to not have him there.

csewy said...

The holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas, is a hard time of year....especially for those that have lost loved ones. My DH and I have both lost our parents over the last 15 years, and no, the pain doesn't get easier as the years go by, almost seems to hurt worse. My father loved the holidays and loved having his family with him, loved his grandchildren, no matter how much noise they made. I truly understand your loss, hugs to you and your family this Thanksgiving.